Posted: Sep 10 2013 at 3:54pm | IP Logged
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Disposable Gloves Your Friend
The most obvious use for disposable gloves is keeping your fingerprints off of things. This is the use that would naturally spring to the mind of a certain type of person. Virtually all criminals and anyone who has ever read a detective story knows you shouldn't leave you fingerprints at the scene of the crime or on the murder weapon.
Law enforcement figured out some time in the late 1800s that fingerprints could be used to identify criminals. Within about five minutes, criminals started figuring out how to not leave prints with gloves such as vinyl gloves. It was a bleak day for detectives and for detective fiction.
Fortunately mystery writers and real life shamuses quickly learned to incorporate gloves into their plots and their bodies of evidence. They learned that if there were no fingerprints at the scene of the crime the perpetrator had probably planned ahead. The crime was assumed to be premeditated except in winter when anyone might be wearing gloves to keep their hands warm.
Hand coverings became some of the most exciting pieces of evidence. There is nothing like a bloody glove found in someone's sock drawer to sell newspapers. Readers quickly caught on that since most criminals are not stupid enough to hide evidence in their own home the owner of the sock drawer was probably being framed.
The also figured out that the Lord of the manor who owned the bloody object probably wasn't guilty either. He is too sensible to ruin an expensive piece of goods even in a fit of passion. However his ne'er do well nephew Percy is another story.
That boy is just the type who would take someone else's gloves without asking and then carelessly leave them at a speakeasy or opium den. That's where the local dope dealer's hit man Vlad the Lad would find them. He might be idiotic enough to hide valuable evidence of his guilt in his own sock drawer but no one would believe it.
A great deal of worry and expense can be saved when criminals carry disposables. You just slip on an inexpensive pair of latex, nitrile or vinyl gloves and go to work. Afterwards you don't have to worry about disposing of weapons or tools or wondering if you left prints at the scene or in the getaway car.
When you dispose of the disposables, be sure you don't put them some place obvious where snoopy detectives might find them. Put them in your sock drawer. Even if somebody finds them they will assume you are being framed.
Criminals aren't the only people who can benefit from using tossable gloves. Surgeons long ago discovered the convenient sanitary way to keep germs from traveling from hands to patients or from patients to hands. It's much easier just to throw the yuck away than to sterilize and reuse.
The same qualities make disposable gloves useful for working in the kitchen. They keep the cook's hands clean and save repeated hand washings. And they also keep germs on hands from contaminating food.
Other less obvious uses for disposable gloves are not prone to failure while exploring the lovers rectum when in the search of a prostate or hiding enjoyable products. The lady you have dreamed of will enjoy the protection of disposable gloves during a diligent hunt for the elusive G spot that may or may not even exist!
With sadness the reader must remember her acts of exuberance may be falsified.
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